notes from #growing up brave# parenting type

Parenting styles:

The too talkative parent: 
Parents are attentive and tend to give a lot of information beforehand or talk a lot to help children address the problems.
solution: observe your children. if your children aren't benefiting from a lot of talking about the situation and actually look more upset about it. If so, its better to tone things down. Know if your child is the type of child, not to want to test the water first; perhaps just jumping in works better. Having too much information up front exposes some children to a greater degree of anticipatory anxiety.

The intrusive parent:

The overly reassuring parent:
example: in a separation scenario, like send the kid to a camp, the mother keeps saying "don't worry. you are going to be fine. you are going to love this" and so on.
Solution: Instead of all those reassurances, focus on what the kid is most excited about or how proud she would be when she successfully did it. Predicting success for a child often creates it. Or suggest the kid would conquer parts of the evening and be rewarded for toughing it out. 
Conveying an expectation of success isn't waying "you're going to be fine" fifty times. Instead, the message should be "you know what to do if you need a little help. so now just go and have fun"

3岁半的小溪

--- 想象力开始发芽了。能自己编故事了。
--- 开始了演戏。

• 她不想吃饭， 就说自己太累了爬不上high chair, 还上演爬不上去摔下来的戏码。 
• 她自己有自己玩小红帽大灰狼的方法。还会把一个拼图故意扔到地上， 然后假装不知道，找啊找， 然后发现掉地上了